I know I've let you down... so many times. I don’t know where to start. You didn’t deserve any of this. You didn’t deserve to feel the weight of my mistakes, the burden of my broken promises. I’ve been so... lost. So trapped in my own head, wrapped in my own mess, and all I ever did was drag you into it.
I can’t even look at myself anymore. I feel like I’m a shadow of the person I used to be—if that person even existed. I don’t know who I am anymore... but I do know this: I’m a failure. A failure as a partner, as someone who should’ve been there for you, who should’ve protected you from the hurt I’ve caused.
Every word, every action, every silence between us... it’s all been a reminder of how I’ve fallen short. I’m sorry. So sorry. Sorry that you’ve had to put up with my endless flaws, sorry for every time I couldn’t give you the love or attention you needed. Sorry for the distance I’ve created... for the way I’ve made you feel like you’re in this alone.
You deserve someone who is whole. Someone who can love you without the constant weight of regret. But I’ve never been able to be that person. I wanted to be. I tried. But I just couldn’t... fix myself in time, and now, I don’t know if I ever will.
I don’t expect you to forgive me. I don’t even know if I can forgive myself. But if you’re reading this, I just need you to know—I'm not doing this because of you. I’ve been running from my own demons for so long, and I guess, in the end, they won. But please... please, remember the good. The moments when I was who you needed me to be. Remember those, not just the bad. If there are ever even any good moments for you to remember.
I hope someday... you’ll find peace. You’ll find someone who makes you feel loved. And you won’t ever have to carry this weight. I hope you can remember me as more than just this... the most broken version of myself.
Add comment
Comments